Fuck it. This shit isn’t happening so I’m not even gonna bother with it.


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Posted 33 minutes ago

So you know those times where despite life not being too bad you just can’t. And no matter how much you want or try to, you just can’t bring yourself to accomplish what you want, even when it’s something you NEED to do. That’s where I’m at right now. 

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Posted 42 minutes ago

3rd grade
  • friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
  • me: what
  • friend: OH MAN
  • OH
  • OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
  • I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
  • SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
  • JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
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951,730 notes   -   Posted 58 minutes ago


(Source: naotarou)

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8,047 notes   -   Posted 59 minutes ago

my-flourish-and-blotts:

Hears a Joke: *laughs hysterically*.

Hears a Historical joke: *laughs historically*.


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20,829 notes   -   Posted 1 hour ago

hightimeslowtides:

emilygt:

dinosaurs-on-wheels:

where can I uninstall my period

i think if you download pregnancy it blocks it for a few months but then you get a really annoying loud pop up that doesn’t go away for 18 years

omg

image


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451,416 notes   -   Posted 6 hours ago

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54,456 notes   -   Posted 6 hours ago

priceofliberty:

hellabiafra:

vegasmo:

Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”

*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*

Animal: *licks its own asshole*

human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*


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666,915 notes   -   Posted 6 hours ago

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678 notes   -   Posted 6 hours ago

i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

image

(Source: phd-in-awesome)


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324,737 notes   -   Posted 7 hours ago

imawanchor:

dylanofryin:

actual picture of actual one direction fans image

it’s like a scene from a zombie movie


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313,303 notes   -   Posted 7 hours ago

lenny-leonard:

Who Wants to be a Millionaire? What a stupid question. Of course I want to be a millionaire. I thought this show would have harder questions.

(Source: lizardswarms)


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160,696 notes   -   Posted 7 hours ago


(Source: fwteiniadtr)

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38,602 notes   -   Posted 7 hours ago

unclefather:

we take for granted all the times our nose isn’t stuffy


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220,563 notes   -   Posted 7 hours ago